With a Crack and a Bang
by Cappoquin's Calling
Summary: Hedwig was fairly possessive of her boy, she'd give you that, but she loved him fiercely. In the end, what wouldn't she do for him? A brief History of Hedwig, from the beginning until the end. One Shot. Character death.


Life came about with the sound of a crack and a burst of sensation. It was exhausting breaking free of her egg, but she felt an overwhelming need to see what was outside her protective shell. Ever since she'd gained awareness, she'd heard the gentle crooning of her mother, telling her tales of the sky, of the wind, of the stars and of wizards. She didn't know what these things were or how they felt, but by the stars (a phrase she'd heard while in her egg), she wanted to find out.

An excited storm of hooting filled the air as she finally broke free. Her eyes were still closed, but she could smell, she could hear, and she could feel something against her face. She didn't know what it was, but maybe, just maybe, it was the wind. And with that, the owl that would one day be known as Hedwig came to life.

* * *

"Come on, Lully. Just spread out your wings, just like we practiced!" her mother's voice sounded from a branch below their nest.

"What if I fall? What if I can't fly? What if I'm the only owl ever that can't fly, what if!" Lully, stuttered.

"Lully, darling, you can't keep asking what if," cooed her mother, "just try it. I'll be right here if you need me. Come on now, it's as easy as breathing!"

Lully huffed a deep breath through her beak and peered down untrustingly at the branch her mother was perched on. 'Alright, Lully, just like you've practiced. Wings out, tail feathers spread…' she coached herself.

"Ok. Alright. I can do this. I am an Owl!" before she could second guess herself anymore, she launched off from her safe and comfortable nest. The feeling of wind going through her feathers, not just playfully caressing her from where she stood in the nest, but guiding her, making her float through the air, was indescribable. She landed with an ungraceful thump, but she knew that she was in love.

"Mother! Mummy! I did it!"

"Yes you did! I'm so proud!"

Mother preened Lully's feathers which had fluffed up in her excitement.

"Just you wait, Mummy! I'll be the bestest flyer in the whole world! You'll see!"

"Of course you will, darling."

Any hint of wariness had disappeared from the owlet, replaced with an intense enthusiasm and confidence that resulted in quite a few bumps over the course of the next few weeks.

* * *

"Mum, when do I get my own wizard or witch? You've got Pemberley, so when do I get my own?"

"Are you ready to be gone from your poor Mum already?"

"Mum! You know that's not what I mean!" huffed Lully, indignantly.

"I suppose it will be soon enough. Pemberley has mentioned that you're getting big enough. I don't want you to leave me, though." Sighed Mum.

"But Pemberley is your wizard! I want my own!"

"You'll get one some day, darling. It will be one of the best days of your life."

"Can't that day happen soon?"

"Oh, darling, just have some patience!"

"I don't like waiting, though…"

"No one does, Love." laughed her mum.

* * *

The day had finally come. Lully was ready to go to the place where she would find her wizard. She'd been waiting for this moment for so long, but now that it was here she didn't want to leave her Mother. It had only really been her and her Mum, and Pemberley occasionally giving her a pat on the head. This had been a moment she'd dreamed of for what seemed like ages, but now she hated to admit it, she was scared.

"You'll do wonderfully, darling. I just know it. You're going to great things." Even as she praised her, her mother sounded terribly sad. "Just don't forget about your poor old mum, alright?"

"I could never forget about you, mummy. I love you…but what if I'm not good enough?! What if no one chooses me? What if - "

"Lully, darling, you always ask 'what if'. Remember when you learned to glide? Stop thinking about 'what ifs' and just take the plunge. It'll be worth it, love."

"…Alright, Mummy. But I'm still scared."

"It's alright to be scared, so long as you still try your hardest."

* * *

Pemberley couldn't help but feel terrible as he called for Garnet's owlet to come down. Today was the day he was taking the little one to the Emporium, and he could feel Garnet's desperate sadness through their bond. The little one, who he affectionately called Little Garney, in his head was a beautiful owl, and he had no doubt she'd be taken home in no time. That still didn't make him feel any better as he listened to the cooing and gentle hoots that Garnet and her baby tossed back in forth. He was of the opinion that Garnet was the smartest owl in the world, and he was entirely sure she could understand what he said to her. Her baby seemed just as aware as her, and he could only hope that she found a Wizard or Witch that would treat her well.

"Come on now, it's time to go."

Garnet nuzzled her little owlet one more time, before nudging her to the edge of their nest in the pine tree outside his house. The little one ruffled her feathers and almost seemed to sigh, before launching herself over the edge and gliding down to his waiting arm.

Her beautiful amber eyes stayed focused on her old nest until it was out of site, and they had apparated to Diagon Alley.

* * *

Lully was terribly lonely, and she wanted her Mummy. Wizards and Witches came and went through the Emporium, but none ever looked at her for longer than a few minutes. It was a terrible feeling to be passed over so many times.

In order to combat this feeling of terrible self-loathing, Lully began to act imperious. She was too good for those Wizards and Witches that didn't pick her. Fine. She would pick her own then. Of course, just as she was thinking that, a small child screamed at her.

"Mother! I want that one! That one! THAT ONE!"

"O-of course, Cormac. Just a moment and we'll get the shopkeeper to grab the bird for us, alright?"

"Now!"

"Excuse me, Sir? How much for that dingy looking one? The white one?"

The shopkeeper gave the woman an affronted look, insulted on Lully's behalf. "The din-, she's not dingy! She's a snowy owl!"

"Regardless, how much is it?"

"Mummmmmy why don't I have the bird?" The small child really was a terror, though Lully in horror, unwilling to believe that this was to be her Wizard.

"4 galleons, 16 sickles, and 3 knuts."

The woman practically threw the money on the counter and held out her hand expectantly. The shopkeeper rolled his eyes and gently took Lully's cage and handed it to the woman, who promptly shoved the cage into the little boy's hands, eliciting a surprised shriek from Lully.

"You're MY bird now. I'm going to call you Igor."

It was all Lully could do to not cry. This was not what her mother had told her was waiting for her. Not at all.

The minute they arrived at the manor of the boy, Cormac, and his mother, the boy opened the cage and grabbed her.

"Igor! We're going to play Quiditch!"

"Be careful. We don't want you getting hurt." The woman rung her hands nervously.

Cormac huffed angrily. "I'm not going to get hurt. I'm just going to throw the quaffle at Igor so he can work on his dodging skills!"

"Cormac, I think the bird is girl."

"I don't care!"

Lully cared. Lully cared about all of this, and the fact that she was going to be target practice for this spoiled little brat. Mummy had always said that you had to help your Wizard, but Lully didn't think this is what she meant.

After a few weeks of torment at the hands of Cormac McClagen, Lully had had enough. She erupted one day, scratching and screeching at the wretch of a boy. This resulted in her being returned to the Emporium, much to her delight.

* * *

Years passed after her brief stint as Cormac McClagen's owl, and still no one worthy of her came to choose her. She had become even more closed off, barely allowing people to touch her when they came to the Emporium. This didn't help getting her a Witch or Wizard, but to be quite honest, she didn't care. She was just about ready to escape back to Pemberley and her mother when a giant of a man meandered into the Menagerie.

" 'ello there! I'm setting to look fer an owl. A presen' fer a li'l firs' year!"

The man might be more hair than actual flesh, thought Lully, idly. He was wandering around the shop, knocking over things due to his enthusiasm. He was mildly amusing, at the very least.

"Oh, now, there's a beaut!" shouted the man, staring directly at her, with a mad sort of twinkle in his eyes.

'Oh no.' thought Lully, eyeing the man.

"How much fer this Li'l Lady?" he asked, gesticulating wildly.

"Oh… for that one, I'd say about 2 galleons should be enough. She's been here forever, it feels like." Said the shopkeeper. Lully was indignant to notice that her price had gone down.

"Harry'll love yah, Li'l Lady."

And with that, Lully was off to meet this Harry.

* * *

The boy's look of complete awe when he saw her was gratifying, to say the least. He seemed quiet, and maybe a little scared. Lully felt herself softening at the sight of him. He reminded her of herself when she first left home to go to the Menagerie.

They arrived at his house, a disgustingly plain house with no defining features other than its complete sameness compared to the other houses surrounding it. The boy, Harry, whispered that it was his Aunt and Uncle's house, and he stayed there because his parents were gone. It had been years since Lully had seen her Mum, so she could understand Harry's sadness. She churred quietly, in an attempt to cheer him up.

He smiled so brightly at her that she was taken off guard for a good few minutes. No one, except perhaps her Mum, had ever looked at her with such happiness. At least not because of her. That look had always been reserved for anyone else but Lully. Maybe being this quiet boy's owl wouldn't be too bad.

"Boy! Get that ruddy owl upstairs!" A walrus of a man (who seemed to exist in an interesting shade of puce) yelled at the boy.

Harry hurried up a set of stairs and brought her to a dilapidated room filled with broken bits and bobs. "Sorry girl, I know it isn't that nice." He looked so upset to disappoint her that she couldn't help but fall a little bit in love with him at that moment. This was HER boy, and she was quite happy.

Wishing that he could understand her, Lully hooted softly, 'It's alright. You're more than enough.'

Later that night, Harry, who had been peering through his books, looked up at her. "You need a name, girl."

Lully straightened up. 'Anything but Igor, for the love of the stars, anything but Igor.'

"How do you feel about Hedwig? She was a powerful Witch, according to this book."

Lully considered for a moment, before hooting her acceptance. With the bob of her head she felt a tendril of magic, some hers, and some her boy's, connect. She basked happily in the glow of the newly formed bond. Finally, she understood what her Mum had told her, all those years ago.

* * *

The journey to Platform 9 and ¾ was hectic, to say the least. Her boy's awful family dropped them off, barely waiting for them to get out of the car before speeding away. The rabble of red heads they ran into was loud, but helpful. The sensation of going through the wall, though? Not her favorite feeling in the world.

She watched contentedly as her boy made friends with one of the red headed rabble they had ran into, although she felt a slight pang of annoyance when the red boy ogled her boy's head.

The ride was filled with meetings and candy and talking. It seemed like a good indication of the year to come. Leaving her boy to go to the Owlery made her anxious, but she knew that he needed to make his own way. She would however, visit him at breakfast. And steal some bacon.

* * *

No one had sent Harry anything yet this year, so Hedwig decided to take matters into her own claws. The large man, Hagrid, was absolutely delighted to see her, and more than happy to write a little note for Harry when she stuck her leg out.

When she delivered the note to Harry, she was near bursting with pride when she saw how happy he was.

"Thanks, girl." He smiled at her and gave her a nice chunk of bacon.

She puffed up with pride, and then tried to preen his terribly messy hair. The Red Boy, Ron, laughed and informed Harry that even his owl thought he needed to brush it.

* * *

That broom had been heavy as all get out, but like hell was she going to accept help from any of the other prissy birds up at the Owlery. They were fine, but all they could talk about was their wizards, and honestly, none of those wizards could compare to her boy. She wasn't biased at all. She wouldn't give up her boy for all the bacon in the world.

* * *

Hedwig was in a tizzy when she felt Harry pass out after his confrontation with the moldy smelling professor. How dare he almost die and leave her all alone! She broke into the Hospital Wing and hooted angrily at him before sitting on his shoulder and making sure he was alright with her own eyes.

'No more of this putting yourself in danger nonsense, alright? You're my boy, you have to take of yourself, too.' She preened his hair.

"Thanks, girl. I'll try to be more careful, alright?"

'You better.'

* * *

She hated them, the Giraffe, the Walrus, and the beached Whale. They were everything that was wrong in her eyes. How dare they lock her boy in his room as though he were a rancid piece of trash that they could be rid of!

Hedwig tried her best to bring Harry food, even though it wasn't bacon. She knew that he probably couldn't eat her kind of food, but she wanted to try. When that didn't work, she furiously flew around his room, trying to figure out a way to get him food. She tried to get letters and food from his friends, but that damn house elf, which she couldn't even tell Harry about kept taking everything away. It got to the point where she was locked up, too. Harry miserably fed her treats through the bars on her cage, feeling terrible. She wasn't mad at him. She knew it was his horrendous relatives, and honestly, she just wanted to be able to help him.

When the red headed rabble arrived, she was so relieved. Not only could she fly in her beloved sky again, her boy was free!

* * *

Second year was unfortunately not going too well for Harry. Hedwig despaired over his broken arm (and missing bones) and the way the school ignored him, or treated him as though he were diseased. She was a little miffed that he could talk to snakes (those terrible creatures) but not to her, but that certainly wasn't his fault. She knew that if he had a choice he would (of course) choose to talk to her.

'Don't worry about these peasants, Harry. You know that it wasn't you, and so do your friends. That's all that matters.' She hooted softly to him, once more attempting to tame his hair.

"I've got you, Hedwig, and Ron, and Hermione. I just wish everyone would believe me." He whispered, eyes gazing off into the distance.

'I'll always be here, don't you worry.'

* * *

Months later, she was proven right about snakes being terrible creatures. Her boy had yet again almost died. This time due to that 'almost' boy and that horribly large snake. Harry had told her about everything after he visited that red-headed girl in the Hospital Wing, and released that horrid little elf from his bond (-Hedwig knew she was being unfair towards the abused elf, but really, he'd broken Harry's arm.).

'We talked about this, you're not allowed to get hurt!' she cried angrily at Harry.

"Sorry, girl. I don't try and get in these situations, you know…"

'It can't be helped. You're just a magnet. I don't think Mum ever had this much trouble with Pemberley.' Despaired Hedwig.

* * *

Hedwig had to wonder what would happen if she pecked out the eyes on that ugly dog woman. She was a true piece of work, that one. Hedwig was also pretty sure that Harry wouldn't mind if Marge never visited again, so she didn't think there would be any strong objections on his part. Unfortunately, Harry had sent her off when Marge had come to visit. Of course, Hedwig wasn't about to leave Harry on his own and had set up a watch, just waiting for the opportunity to swoop in and take care of that awful woman.

It was no great hardship for Hedwig to take a swipe at the woman when Harry had turned her into a balloon. It was really quite satisfying, if she had to admit to it.

There seemed to be a dog following Harry. Slightly suspicious, but then again, Harry was a great Wizard, it was no wonder that magically inclined animals might follow him (she sensed the dog's innate magic from quite far away. It actually reminded her of Professor McGonagall in some way). After all, Hedwig was bonded to Harry, and if that didn't say something about Harry, she didn't know what did.

(She wasn't conceited. Perish the thought!)

* * *

Dementors, Hedwig decided, were an affront to everything. When they had appeared on the train, she had felt as though she would never fly again and that she would never scold Harry, or have bacon again. Mostly though, she was terrified at Harry's reaction. She felt, through their bond, his pure anguish and torment when in the presence of the Dementors. It broke her heart.

During that stormy match that Harry fell out of the sky, Hedwig was in the Owlery, bullying some of the other owls into giving up the prime spot at the top of the tower. She stopped everything when Harry's panic filled her head, and took off, battling the wind and rain to reach her boy. She followed at a close distance as they carted him off to the infirmary, besides herself with worry.

Madame Pomfrey didn't even blink her eye at Hedwig's presence, already so used to it after three years.

'Harry…' Hedwig didn't even have the heart to berate him as she normally would, too worried about his panic and sadness that she still feel, even as he lay unconscious.

One of the best moments of third year for her, was when Harry learned the Patronus charm. It wasn't a complete solution to the Dementors, but it was something, at the very least.

* * *

Another sore point of the year was Sirius Black. Initially, it was anger that this lout had been the reason her boy lived with his awful relatives rather than his loving parents, and then it was anger for the poor, irresponsible man that was unjustly treated and left to rot for something he hadn't done. She made it a point to remember to bring him some bacon at some point. Bacon was her chocolate. It truly helped any mood get better.

* * *

When Harry told her, in a hushed voice, of the Death Eaters at the World Cup, Hedwig felt the stirrings of fear deep inside her. If Death Eaters, if, starts forbid, Voldemort came back, they wouldn't leave Harry alone. Her sweet boy, who gave her treats and scratched that spot on her neck just right, and who whispered all of his doubts and secrets to her listening ears, would be in even more danger than before.

She really didn't want that to happen. She was only an Owl, and there wasn't much she could do. Sometimes she railed at fate for making her an Owl when she could have been a Witch, but then again, she very likely would not have met Harry. In the end, if she had to be anything, she just wanted to be a part of Harry's life, so being an Owl would have to be enough.

* * *

Not only did Harry get pulled into a tournament that he had no business being in, he was almost killed by dragons, merpeople, and then a torturous maze. The only good point of this damn tournament was that she got to see him try and dance. He was traumatized from witnessing someone die, from facing Voldemort, and from being betrayed by a professor that he had trusted. Harry had plenty of luck, but almost none of it was good.

She perched on Harry's shoulder as he stood at the train station in Hogsmeade, trying to provide some sort of tangible weight to keep him mired in reality and prevent him from going to the dark corners in his mind.

* * *

Harry was different that summer following the tournament. Never to her, no, he was still just as kind and caring as always, but he was sadder and almost stagnated in his grief. It tore Hedwig apart to see him thrash in his sleep, her gentle cooing doing nothing to calm the terrors in his mind. Letters from Sirius, Ron, and Hermione didn't even help, so it was with some resentment that she pecked at their fingers until they wrote just a little bit more. She didn't regret that at all.

* * *

Once again, though, she was reminded how much she hated Dementors, and Harry's family. The Dementor that attacked Harry and his cousin in a place that was supposed to be free from the dangers of the wizarding world upset her terribly. She had almost thought that the Walrus man was going to throttle Harry when Harry dragged his extremely large cousin back to Number 4. Her talons had been ready for him to even try. To top it all off, she was contemplating if it was possible for her to take on the Ministry. Against her better judgement she started making plans to drop dungbombs into the Ministry at the first chance she had.

* * *

When Harry was finally taken to Grimmauld Place, Hedwig may or may not have started a mild sort of guerilla warfare against everyone. Mild stuff like moving things around so they weren't where they had been left. It wasn't terribly inventive, but it served to make the paranoid one with the strange eye even more paranoid.

Harry chided her gently, but he didn't seem to mind too much when Madeye stormed around trying to find "That miscreant that stole his pen, again!".

* * *

Hedwig was quite proud of Harry, this year. He refused to be cowed by that bitch, Umbridge, and then he started teaching students defense. Maybe one day he would be a teacher? She would look forward to seeing what Harry became. Whatever he did, she was sure he'd be amazing.

That being said, his attitude was a little sour during the year. People forgot, for some reason, that he had witnessed a boy die, was constantly being called a liar by the government, and that Severus Snape, a man who hated Harry, was constantly barraging his mind. Hedwig was of the opinion that Harry could be forgiven for being a little short tempered.

* * *

With Christmas, Hedwig's fears were once again intensified. Her boy was amazing, but the continued visions that he had just didn't seem like a good thing. The only good thing about them really was that Harry was able to tell the Order when Mr. Weasley was attacked. Other than that, the thought of that evil bastard anywhere near her boy's mind was appalling. She just hoped that nothing bad came of this.

When it came time for Hedwig to try and comfort Harry about Sirius's death, she regretted once again that she was not a Witch. If she had been born a Witch, she could have fought with Harry, and she could have hugged him while he cried. As it was, she tried to tuck her head into his neck and console him. It was a poor consolation, in her opinion.

* * *

It was amusing hearing Harry talk about girls to her. The pretty girl down at the shop, Ginny, the girl on Magnolia Crescent, Ginny, Ginny, Ginny. The disaster with Cho Chang last year had rendered Harry really only capable of bumbling about in front of girls, blushing up a storm and stuttering nervously. Hedwig didn't think that Harry realized how much he brought up Ginny, but it was quite amusing for her.

* * *

Harry being taken by Dumbledore somewhere that she could not follow was mildly upsetting, although she was mollified after Harry told her what happened. The arse-kissery that Slughorn dished out was kind of pathetic, but mostly amusing to watch.

* * *

If Hedwig didn't know any better, she would say that Harry had a sort of obsessive crush on his school nemesis, Draco Malfoy. Having been subjected to many a rant of how beautiful long red hair is, she knew that that was not it. Something was terribly suspicious about the boys actions, but Harry's friends would rather believe that Harry was making mountains out of mole hills for some reason.

* * *

The lesson's with Dumbledore made Harry anxious, and her as well, if she were being truthful. While it was all well and good to "know your enemy", she did think it might be useful to learn a few defensive spells while they were at it. Harry obviously agreed with her.

* * *

His guilt when he hurt Draco Malfoy was overwhelming. Harry truly did not wish to hurt people, but sometimes it people make mistakes. He had placed too much faith in a book written years ago, and had, as a result, injured someone quite badly. Hedwig tried to comfort him, but, for the first time in ever, Harry lashed out, yelling at her to leave him alone.

Hurt, she flew off to the top of Gryffindor tower. Even hurt and angry, she didn't want him to be alone with his thoughts. He may not see her, but she tried to send feelings of comfort and love through their bond. He was so angry though that nothing she did helped.

He came to her in the Owlery a few days later, carrying bacon and apologies. She accepted, never able to stay mad at her boy for long at all.

"It's just, it's just, well, there's too much going on. People expect so much from me, Hedwig." Muttered Harry, as he stroked her feathers.

'It will be alright, someday, Harry. I hope so.'

* * *

The death of Albus Dumbledore was unexpected and incredibly painful for Harry. Their hunt for Horcruxes had weakened Dumbledore, and then Snape had killed him. It was something Harry should never have witnessed. She hated feeling helpless, but what should she, no what could she do?

* * *

Hedwig flew in lazy loops through the clear night sky, gazing at the stars above her. Her mum had told her a story once, about how the stars were the guides of all owls in the world, and how when an owl died, they could become a star, and watch over all those who they had left behind. She wondered if humans could too, and if Harry's parents were up there with the owls, watching over them. Tomorrow was the day that she and Harry were leaving Number 4, and while she wouldn't miss it at all, she did have some fond memories of it. Mostly of it being the place where she had met her boy (who was now a man), and terrorizing the neighborhood mice.

She didn't think she'd miss it, but there was a feeling deep in her stomach that wasn't quite sadness or excitement. She could only identify it as a deeply unsettled feeling that left her feeling restless. She flew around the neighborhood one last time, relishing in the feel of her muscles moving and the warm wind flowing over her wings. Looking down at the back garden of Number 4, she saw Harry standing there, his arm outstretched. He looked so big and tall, but all she could think about was that little boy who smiled so brightly when he saw her all those years ago.

* * *

When Hedwig saw a Death Eater raise their wand towards Harry, she had only one thought on her mind as she flew to intercept that awful green light. Everything for her boy. Her kind, loving boy was not going to die, not while she had a say about it. And then everything was light and Hedwig was gone.

 _o_

 _o_

 _o_

 _"Mummy, do you think I could do something great?"_

 _"Oh, Lully, I don't doubt it for a minute."_

 _o_

 _o_

 _o_

 **A/N:**

I randomly started thinking of Hedwig today. This was the result…it's a little rough, unedited, and disjointed, but I think it kind of gets the point across.

\- Quinn.


End file.
